Crying Alone on the seas

Prologue

I see him there now, alone on the sea,

With tears in his eyes, he seems so unfree.

He doesn’t seem like the person I once knew,

It’s as though life has passed him through.

I approach him now, with a fear in my heart.

I approach him now, with a feeling of guilt on my part.

Lost in his thoughts, he’s looking the other way.

As I reach out for him, I realize I don’t know what to say.

Wiping away his tears, he waits a while,

Sensing my fear, he manages a smile.

With a comforting look, he turns towards the sea,

In a calm and steady voice, he says to me:

Main

On a lonely, grey and dying day,

When the winds have just begun to play,

& the shadows have emerged from the trees;

If you see me crying alone on the seas. .

Don’t look at the reflections from the past,

Don’t try to remember the memories that are dying fast.

Please don’t feel guilty when you face the breeze,

Just because you saw me crying alone on the seas.

Live your life the way you vowed,

Live a life that will make me proud.

Don’t ruin it all just trying to appease,

The guy you saw crying alone on the seas.

The heart does things one can never explain.

Whether it is a solitary grief that cannot contain,

Or an overwhelming bliss that is trying to ease,

One can end up crying alone on the seas.

Some things are still not understood by all.

Things, that forever enthrall,

Things that can make a person go week in the knees,

And possibly make him cry alone on the seas.

It’s the unexplainable joy that came his way,

That even years of despair couldn’t take away,

And it’s the magic in the love that he still sees,

That makes him cry alone on the seas.

Epilogue

Yet another tear starts its descent,

As I see her walk away from me, content.

Soon she will be out of my sight,

And I’ll turn towards the sea, who knows my plight.

An ocean of memories he holds inside,

So many weep beside him, yet he never cried.

He can see my dreams right through my face,

Unlike her though, who never saw a trace.

I can’t let her know, it’ll be too much.

There’s not a lot that can be done about it as such.

And so, closing my eyes, I turn towards the sea,

To return to the dream that could not be.

This is from a friends blog- officially the only love poem I have managed to love.

Anshu- You cant sue me for this!!

The blues... and so life goes on...

Walking through a meadow of mellows,
the pinks and the whites and the bright yellows,

everyday is a like waking to my best dreams,
birds chirp of happy tunes as the sun smiles and beams,

Heels and skirts, all a beauty to see,
all a show of what is not to be,

What it is that gets me down, is unknown,
what it is that is missing I need to be shown,

In the silence of the desending dark night,
In the shivering cold of the moonlight,

mounted on this window sill,
staring at nothing but the still,

I try again in vain to see the truth , to find my bliss
with every passing momment a whiff of life I miss

**********************************************

I cannot but wonder if there is a certain schedule that the human mind is designed to follow, if there is a certain biological cycle that mekes the mind function the way it does. It seems like the mind requires a change of emotional status with passage of a certain period of time.And this is not a change that is locally observed, it has significant effects on other functionalaties of the human body, for instance the heart. Or is it that this thing that we assume to be a biological organ of vital importance, is the source of emotions and the mind is but a pitiful puppet ?

In a life that is filled with nothing but the best of one's dreams, why would it be impossible to find bliss? Its a life with "magic beans" and a what a priceless collection at that! Its a life with not a single regret, not a single complaint. Its a life with all the wishes coming true. And yet it seems such an effort to smile, such an effort to feel happy!

After a lot of thought into this, I realise I have always been staring at the truth.
If it were not for the blues and sorrows one would never know how precious bliss is. It would just be something that is taken for granted.

The mind is a funny player. It changes with time and I am glad that it refuses to stay in this state of sorrow for too long a period.
And so the next day dawns bright as it should be. Until the next time the mind decides its time to change, Ill bask in the sunlight.
When it is time to be back in the blues, Ill welcome the change. For I know how priceless it is to me.

The stars do what they do!

Every passing momment brings closer this dream,

A dream enchanted with all the stars ever seen,

The wait seemed like a walk on the moonlit sands,

waves singing merry of the far away lands,

This breeze that blew my way set all my smiles free,

I left all my tears behind, let my sorows be,

I am walking toward the sunlight, leaving the night behind,

Im off to get my dreams, treasures waiting for me to find.

But then I realise, there is still an empty space,

blue thoughts seem to drag my pace,

He's not here to make this dream feel complete,

I cant make out a face, he's in love, I can hear my name repeat,

I wish I could let you know too,

But I need to let the stars do what they do,

I have to wait to see who you are,

Till then Ill be here in my dream, empty and bare.

A bubble in a desert.......

Those hands, they are here again,
I'm trying to break free, all in vain,

his eyes pierced through me,
as he stepped into borders too close to me,

a few minutes and it was all over,
my beautiful dreams were washed away in that shower,

he left me there crawled up with those dark shadows,
every night i sleep, I never miss these shows,

one day, it changed everything I knew,
he left me in a desert, smiles were few,

three years on and I am still trapped here,
these memmories refuse to clear,

but I swore not to let him win this,
I swore to rebuild my life, find my bliss,

I let my smile brighten the night,
I let the sunshine in, let the flowers bloom bright,

and I live now in this bubble thats full of my smiles,
this bubble of mine shall not break, but it will spread into the miles,

I shall not quit, I will stand tall,
my head held high, I will not fall.


Dedicated to someone who has lived on beyond this night mare and is very close to me.

All out of smiles!

To change a face is not new to me,
it aches my heart when I see,

My smile has bothered this one,
My happy dreams are all but done,

I know its untrue, this smile of mine,
But I thought it would make things fine,

A childlike mask I choose to wear,
I wish to hide this pain I bear,

My dear friend, I wish you knew,
my happy momments are but few,

I wish you'd let me be,
But this message shall forever remain with me!

Broken wings.... No more!

Standing tall in this basking sunrise,
I look at the receeding darkness behind me that lies,

Days, longer than decades, indifferent nights,
Enchanting memmories of sparks and lights,

Locked in a chest, wrapped and reachable to no one,
from fear of a new wound to this healing one

With the first ray of light, I look ahead, up at the blue, blue sky,
Ready to spread my wings, im all ready to take off and fly,

Fly into this world, thats all but brand new,
Its the same old me, but im born all anew,

Every day is an unknown journey,
Surprises for me are many,

And each one adds a new smile,
To my eyes thats has held tears for quite a while,

Its a new beginning, a new color that i add,
The right shade I paint, Im glad.

Subramani.

He walked into my house, his feet trying to balance what seemed like the debris of one of nature's cruel games. He was all but a person of two feet and yet it occured to me that he was taller than the giants that have ever walked these grounds. Not a trace of fear, of uncertainity, even as his eyes darted in opposite directions.

A noise was all he could produce, and it was all he needed. He used the only syllabl familiar to him to shout, plead and laugh. His response was simple. A cry to acknowledge. A nod to disagree. Violent anger as an after math to being the victim of forcible taming of his spirit. A very occasional but extraordinarily beautiful smile. I was blessed to see one, everytime he watched the pack of cards tumble to the ground from the basket he held upturned.

He was no loser, I could tell. He faught, at everything said to him. He was punished, for his arrogance. or was it his innocence? He never told. or did he not know? The burn on his fingers, the scar on his leg? Was it bravery or was it his inability?

He was a child afterall. Hunger escapes noone. But the pity was, when he begins to ask, we never know, its always the same sound. How will you ever know his likes, his dislikes, if he is full or is still hungry if you are the one who decides his meals.

When you go about your life, sinking in floods of tears over what seemed like earth-shattering problems and you meet Subramani, you realise your life is so simple, but you run behind every detail with a magnifying glass searching for something which could be wrong. You create your own problems. Expectations. Responses. Achievements. Loss. Love. You think Subramani understands any of these?But the irony is, when you loose value for any of these, you and subramani are on the same level and you just might be able to understand him, help him even, but the world around you will begin to give you the one thing you probably dont need, pity.

It aches me to watch, no not Subramani. He was born this way. It aches me that people around me can carry on their shoulders worries about their appearance, worries about another flat, another car. Ill never have respect for your palatial homes, the dress you have been flaunting. Your wealth is worth sawdust to me if you have no heart to give. Your status is as good as invisible if you cant help subramani. Your brand is the number on the criminal board you carry around, if you cant feed, cloth or help bring another beautiful smile on subramani's face.

Ill wait again..

Here it comes, the first drop,
On my hand it comes to a stop,
There are millions more to come,
As they land, a rhythm they drum.

On the thirsty, parched ground,
Engulfed in a familiar incense,
Memories escape, dancing all around,
It’s my renaissance.

Thunders warn of the wars waged,
The gods above, they seem raged,
With a flash their swords are drawn,
It’s a weighing of their brawn.

The punished and weak fall,
It was always meant to be,
Truth and strength stand tall,
Bliss and beauty are set free,

The winds, the dead they sweep away,
The streams, the sins they wash today,
A tender green life, it is brand new,
Has found a friend, a drop of dew,

It’s a new beginning, a new start,
The sun shines in golden rays,
But this is still a world apart,And I will wait again for those rainy days.