Know!

Faith knows not, of a wall,

stand for, stand tall.

Thirst knows not, of a quench,

dig deeper your trench.

Desire knows not, of a deny,

reach out for that sky.

Vision knows not, of an end,

look past the bend.

Dream knows not, of a boundary,

fly high and fly free.

The world knows not, of you,

shine through your colors true.

Another tear for you!

I lie here wrapped in his arms,

wishing they were yours instead,

for you are my true prince of charms,

dreaming of you I lay down my head,

I wake another day to the pain,

of knowing we will never be,

incomplete I shall forever remain,

for you never did belong to me,

and I wonder as I watch the dark sky,

if the tides of change have passed through you,

my unending love you will now deny,

and all I can do is shed another tear for you!

Here I lie with an empty embrace,

caught at a crossroad,

a future holding her hand in mine I face,

a past with her that I just cannot watch erode,

I want to spend my life watching you smile,

and I would turn the world for you,

how do I tell you it will take a while,

before the day dawns that's just for me and you?

How do I to make you see,

That my love is undying and true,

though your hand in mine may never be,

and all I can do is shed another tear for you!

I lie here yearning for your arms wrapped around me,

wondering what it is that I should feel,

as once again sleep evades me,

the dawning skies watch my eyes as they appeal,

Anger, pain, fear and guilt come and go,

like they own me now,

And I try and look deep in my heart where I know,

you've taken over all of it somehow,

I know you cannot let go of the hand that cared,

And I know I want no life without you,

So I sit here helpless and scared,

and all I can do is shed another tear for you!

Empty within!

I walk on through the night and through the day,

I move on, paying no heed to any say,

I look up at the rain of tears as they fall,

but I keep at it, I scale up the wall,

As I watch the world pass on by,

I see not the evil, not the dark, nor the lie,

Only the light, the beauty and the bliss I choose to see,

and I smile, for that is all there is to me,

I spread my joy and love to all around,

as pain and despair push them to the ground,

As I pass the rainbow and reach the other side,

I look, but find no pot with gold inside,

Dark clouds gather and win their war,

waves of agony lash at me with no bar,

There are no happy endings I now know,

There was never any bliss that looked to grow,

I let the light inside me fade and die,

With nothing more to give, look here I lie.

Fearless with you by my side!

I may have found my way home after you,

and yes, it could have been you first,

I maybe lying where your head once was,

But its mine now and I am the one here,

Its where all my beginnings end,

Its where all my roads lead,

Its where I rest all my fears,

Its where I am me,

You can still call it yours,

you may believe it too,

but we both know that's a lie,

one I can not stop you from believing,

I know our sun shines will be bright,

and sparkling stars shall shine our night,

Ill hold his hand,

and he will hold mine,

not because he has to,

but because he chooses to,

for he has made a believer of me,

and that was a miracle meant to be.

There was a day when I lay my life in his hands,

with the fires, skies, winds and waters my witness,

you may never know what that means,

but he has made a believer of me.

And so I will rest all my fears,

for I believe, in the gods of fate,

I believe in the strength of that promise,

I believe in that raging fire in my own heart,

I have laid my trust in that part of me,

that you call yours!

Mind without fear

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high,

where knowledge is free,

where the world is not broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls,

where the words come out from the depth of truth,

where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection,

where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way in the dreary desert sands of dead habit,

where the mind is led forward by thee into ever widening thought and action,

into that heaven of freedom, my father, let my country awake.

-Rabindranath Tagore

PhDs!!!

Its not the engineering you did, Its not the statistics issue you resolved, its not even the genetic code you cracked.

No. When you walk away with a PhD degree, it is not an acknowledgement to your contribution to your field of research.

It is in fact an acknowledgement of all the days you spent struggling to learn some very important lessons.

You discover that you never get things right on the first go. Hell you do not get it right even on the second, third or for that matter on the tenth go. The PhD teaches you to brave the disappointment, look past the pinch of failing, and try yet again.

You discover that the science that surrounds your tiny little world of quest is overwhelming.The PhD teaches you to be OK with feeling that sense of stupidity even on the day of your thesis assessment.

You discover that things are never in place and you are forever in a world of unknowns. The PhD teaches you to find the strength to continue solving your puzzle with a hope that things will fall into place at the right time.

You discover that you do not get a gold star even when you have published your first paper. Nothing you do seems good enough. The PhD teaches you that this is the secret behind pushing yourself into doing a better job.

Of course, having a supervisor who knows when to cut you some slack and when to hold your neck to a knife helps. Sharing an office with others who have equally scarring stories also helps. Having friends who will barge into your room and drag you for dinner when its been days since you have left the vicinity of your desk is a blessing you cannot be thankful enough for. Having best friends who complain about your lack of communication, but still love you none the less is priceless.Having parents who will silently listen to you vent about all the frustrations is more than what you can hope for. Having that special someone who will see you through all your mood swings and tell you that he loves you every single night....is probably what what will make all of this worth the struggle.

And finally having a backup plan,like a career in music, is well... common sense!!

I will always have my swords drawn.....

A couple of years back, I caught myself falling into what seemed like an abyss. Armed with the burning anger manifested into this determination to win the war, I started to climb back to where I could stand with the skies only just out of my reach.

Every step forward was a struggle. Every night brought new fears, and every day was spent proving them wrong. Anger, fear, pity, sorrow, guilt were not emotions I could feel anymore, but had each become a mighty enemy I had to fight to win. Battles have been lost but I was always ready for the next one.

And then came this day, when he struck me before I could even draw my sword. There he stood, with the same eyes that mocked me years ago. Time had not softened his spirit one bit. He had returned to see what was left of me. When he left, he knew he had pushed me further this time and I could not climb back up.

I lay in the dark corner, broken still. I dint think I had the strength and courage to start all over again. This time though, there was a difference. I was not alone. I have hands that will help me up. I have in me the spirit and love of one that will see me through it all. And so I start again....I start to climb back to where I can stand with the skies only just out of my reach.

Every step forward is a struggle. Every night brings new fears, and every day is spent proving them wrong. Anger, fear, pity, sorrow, guilt are not emotions I can feel anymore, but have each become a mighty enemy I have to fight to win. Battles are being lost but I am ready for the next one.

I will always have my swords drawn.......

The unknown road.

Glories of gold, Victories, oh so very fine!
always a win, always a brilliant shine,

It was a land where she achieved all she wanted,
Her way was almost always taken for granted.

As a child , she let go of the hand ,
the one that held as she learnt to balance on land,

Her eyes always searched higher in the sky,
she always looked at something harder to try,

the roads already there were never for her,
she always knew she was born to achieve the greater

she left behind all she had known,
in search of answers unknown,

battles of might were fought,
great strength in her was sought,

times with no light, no love, only the dead silence,
left her thinking of the older times and what seemed like repents,

every step broke her a little more,
but moving forward was all that she was sure

She chose to find the unknown road,
and she refused to quit and run abode,

She will stand through the harshest rains , stand with her head held high,
she will find her answers against all odds ahead that lie.